3 Messages For Teen Girls
I got this today as part of some youth ministry monthly training materials. I love to get that stuff because leaders are learners and I challenge you as I challenge myself to continue to learn from those who know a whole lot more than us. The Bible says, “let no man despise your youth”…but I would say don’t give them a reason too. Throughout this article from Neely I will interject some comments in Christmas Green. Guys this is good for you to read as well, because were part of the problem and have a chance to become part of the solution.
3 messages the girls in your ministry can’t hear enough
By Neely McQueen
If you are anything like me at times I feel overwhelmed at the task of helping young girls do more than just survive through their adolescent years. It can be a draining task as you watch them buy the lies the world has sold them. In a “girls gone wild” age it’s so important to help them rise above the messages and live in authentic relationship with Christ and other believers. Here are three messages that I keep coming back to in my ministry to teenage girls.
1. “You are created with value”
One of the most significant moments for me as a teenage girl occurred when a Scripture came alive to me about my value in Christ. The Message Bible had recently been published, and I was reading in the book of James.
So, my very dear friends, don’t get thrown off course. Every desirable and beneficial gift comes out of heaven. The gifts are rivers of light cascading down from the Father of Light. There is nothing deceitful in God, nothing two-faced, nothing fickle. He brought us to life using the true Word, showing us off as the crown of all his creatures (James 1:16).
I remember reading it for the first time in this version and in that moment I began to understand how God saw me- as the crown of his creation! I grew up in Washington State and it’s beautiful…beautiful mountains, scenic coastline, and lots of green! Looking at the beauty surrounding me it was overwhelming that I was created as his best workmanship. And it wasn’t about appearance and body issues; it was truly a moment of seeing myself as Christ saw me. Truthfully, I had heard this message delivered often in my youth group, and because of that, the stage was set for this divine encounter.
Try to create lots of different kinds of opportunities for the girls in your ministry to hear this significant message from the Creator of the universe. Ladies I will continue to beat this drum as you have heard many times and that is you are valuable…Guard your heart…don’t sell yourself short. If you only saw yourself as valuable as God and I do then maybe just maybe modesty would not be an issue. But as it stands in some cases you leaving nothing to the imagination of a guy (not that they need to imagine anything) because something that you are wearing is so revealing. Don’t let that be the reason they notice. As guys get older they notice the flashy girls but they marry the ones who love God and live for Him.
2. “The other girls around you were created with value too”
I visited a ministry that teaches young people the importance of seeing value in their fellow classmates. What this ministry discovered is that by teaching this lesson they have actually communicated yet another reason why rape or domesticate abuse is wrong. Here’s how I find this principle transferable to our youth ministries…
If your youth ministry is anything like ours you find that the girls can be quite mean to each other. That right in your own youth ministry scenes out of Mean Girls are happening. When did it become okay for our youth ministries to feel like the hallways at a public school? What if we start encouraging the girls in our ministries to realize that not only do they have worth but the girl they can’t stand is also of great value to God? Now I am not naïve to think that by teaching this to your girls that everyone will suddenly become best friends, and you’ll never have a problem with cliques. But you might begin to see girls rethinking how they interact with each other, or better yet, you might see fewer girls leaving your ministry because they felt like they didn’t belong. One of the things that bothers me the most is seeing how girls treat girls….it is like you don’t remember what it is like to be on the other side…now we are getting better at that, but we have a long way to go.
3. “God moves through girls, like you, in radical ways”
Whenever we do a series in our youth ministry about people in the Bible, we make a special effort to include a female. You can imagine how confusing it is to a young girl to hear that God wants to use her, but every example she hears from the Bible is a guy. Sure there are transferable principles from every life in the Bible, but it is tremendously meaningful for a teenage girl to hear about Jael, Esther, Deborah, Lydia, Hannah, Ruth, Mary, the bleeding woman, Rizpah, etc… Women who made themselves available to be used in a powerful way to change the course of history.
I find in my interactions with teenage girls that this actually serves two purposes. First, it provides proof that God can use anyone, even an awkward 14-year-old girl with acne. Secondly, it’s a boost to their confidence when they realize that God wants to use young women like them to accomplish his kingdom work. As a result they begin to understand that they can be about bigger things than the clothes they wear or the boys they date- that, in fact, God may be calling them to save a generation just like Esther.
(As an aside- another great way you can communicate this is by making sure you have godly women involved in all aspects of your ministry. Nothing displays this vital truth to girls more than seeing it happen right in front of them.) We have some very Godly, awesome woman who love you and are hear to talk, listen and serve you.
Every so often I get a catch a glimpse of what it would be like if the girls in my ministry would walk in these truths, and I am overwhelmed with excitement! Young girls fully confident in who God created them to be, living in authentic relationships with other believing girls, and making themselves available to the King in order to “save a generation.” My prayer is that you realize now, so what if everyone dresses or acts this way, or so what it gets all the guys attention, but that you would understand how God created you and why. That you would wait and find the right guy instead of the right guy for the moment. That you would strive for modesty because you are valuable to God and because you have more to offer than just your body. That you would strive for holiness and that because of it God would bless your teenage years instead of you stumbling through them awkwardly.
Hope you enjoyed this…it’s a huge challenge, but I guarantee this…it will save you a lot of pain in life.
Best Kept Secret
We just got out of staff meeting and I wanted to share with you what John was sharing with us while it is still fresh in my mind.
Here are just some thoughts about Fellowship Church:
Fellowship Church is the best kept secret in the Delaware Valley
100,000+ people live within minutes of our church who need Jesus
People won’t/can’t come to a church they don’t know exists
Fellowship Church is the best place to hear the good news
Never before has a church like ours existed in the Delaware Valley
We are positioned and poised for the harvest
We are at a great point in Fellowship’s history and God has been doing so much at Fellowship even since I arrived seven months ago. God has put us in this area, “for such a time is this” as the Bible says. We are here to see people come to know God and have a real relationship with Him. You are a huge part of that and for some of you reading you are a result of somebody believing that. Christmas is coming and our theme is “Home for the Holidays”. We want to see as many people come to know God and see that church is not boring and that God is relevant in their lives. Join us as we redefine church in the Delaware Valley this Christmas.
The god’s Aren’t Angry
Last night I had the chance to go see Rob Bell in concert at the Electric Factory in Philly. Rob Bell is the Nooma guy who has so many different perspectives on life and is known for being one of the top communicators today.
He did a concert that was part anthropology, part history, part reality of where we have come from and yet where we are still today. The basic premise of the night is that throughout cultural development and history it has been customary to offer sacrifices to gods. From the time of cavemen and woman to Mesopotamian culture to the Incas to the Greek gods to God today we have been trained and it has been considered the norm to “do” something to make the gods happy.
Sadly that has carried over into churches today where it truly has become a religion that we worship and not God. He talked about how today, Jesus has already done something for us and yet we still feel the need to “do” to earn our salvation or approval from God. He brought if full circle in that if we truly knew God the way that God intended us to know Him, then our focus would move from what can we “do” for God to what can we “do” for others because of our love for God.
Thought it was a great night and it adds a new perspective of how important that it was for Jesus to GIVE his life for us so that we would not see the same gods mentality which was for us to give something to them. Now we do show our love for God by loving others and offering ourselves up as a living sacrifice. That idea of a living sacrifice is essentially a oxy-moron, but when we put it into the context of living for God while sacrificing for others it gives it a whole new meaning.
May this week you and even today live with the attitude of being a living sacrifice. Live for God and sacrifice for others.
Grains of Sand
“Stay alert: be in prayer so you don’t wander into temptation without even knowing you’re in danger. There is a part of you that is eager, ready for anything in God. But there’s another part that’s as lazy as an old dog sleeping by the fire.” Matthew 26:41
I came across this verse as I was preparing today for Fusion. We are starting a new series titled “Hooked”. It’s a four week series that deals with being alert to temptation, how to avoid it, and what to do if we should be caught in it. I am totally pumped about this series because it applies to me as well, so I know teenagers will be challenged.
The verse basically talks about how we are so eager sometimes to serve, to connect, to be involved, BUT there is this other part of us (the part that usually wins out) that is lazy and could care less. I love the first part of that verse because no matter how cautious or comfortable we begin to feel there is danger around us and we may not even be aware of it.
I have been challenged in the last week to guard my heart and my mind from anything that appears or even doesn’t appear to be dangerous. My prayer is that God would challenge us all to holiness no matter how difficult the road to it may be.
Guest Blog: Ashli Hutchinson
Time has been stopped suddenly.
And another life has ended.
But a life not forgotten.
Memories made will live on.
Laughs you created will always be heard.
Tears shed will never dry out.
Smiles you gave will never frown.
My heart will never close.
You helped me through the times when I thought I would never see the light.
Tears will never stop running for you.
All of my questions will be left unanswered.
The lives you graced will never be the same.
I will never know what was going through your mind that day.
I will never know what you were looking for.
But what I do know is on that day I lost a friend, a friend I will one day meet again.
So I will live my life with memories of you, and never will anyone forget you.
Because Aaron, you are missed.
Rest In Peace Aaron.
A Day Remembered
Today has been pretty much a blur filled with emotion. Although since Friday it seems that everything has been a blur. This morning as they rolled Aaron in I would have probably lost it if it had not been for Ben being there to talk to me…thanks bro, I appreciate it. The first time I saw Aaron as he lay there so peaceful with a smirk on his face almost saying, “look where I am now” it put a smile on my face knowing I would see him again even though it is tough for us right now.
Aaron looked like Aaron, and to see him in his uniform brought tears to my eyes because I knew of his love for the military.
John did such a good job at the funeral balancing laughter and helping us to process our pain. Ben, wow, he did a great job on the video, the worship and what he had to say was so touching.
Burying Aaron was the hardest thing I have had to do as a pastor. This will honestly be one moment that I will probably never forget and one that will reshape my focus of ministry and of others.
Aaron will be missed, but the day ended how it should have…a celebration of the man that he was and the man that we will all miss.
Memories of Aaron
John is doing this as well on his blog and we just want to give you opportunities to share your thoughts about Aaron no matter what they are at this particular point. Even in the midst of unfortunate tragedies we can laugh and remember Aaron the way he lived his life and not focus on the way he ended it.
I will remember Aaron as a tremendous worker. Helping me and others move this summer…I think he did 4 or 5 moves this summer for staff and others. He painted the foyer that we currently have. I will remember his energy drink that he would suck down every sunday morning which I don’t think he needed because he had plenty of energy to begin with. I will remember his smile on his face that went ear to ear…no matter how bad a day you were having if Aaron smiled it made you smile. He had a way of connecting with almost anyone…he had a way of making even the youth staff feel welcomed and that is tough to do. I will remember rooming with Aaron in Russia and him taking pictures out the window and yelling at people at like 4 in the morning. In just a short time I have so many memories of Aaron and the friendship that we had. I appreciate Aaron’s faithfulness. I could always count on him. Aaron will be truly missed, but he won’t be forgotten because his impact on all of us will be talked about for years to come.
Friend Of God
Many of you have said that you have been waiting for me to blog about the tragedy that has struck each and every one of us who knew Aaron. To be honest with you one of the toughest things to do in life is to talk about death and possibly it’s equal is to write about it. What do you say? There are no comforting words that will change the emotions we feel or the outcome of the events that have occurred.
I was reading a book titled “God’s Blogs”. It’s a book written as if God was writing about life Himself to us and He was posting it on a blog. I found this section on death that I thought was unique and at the same time comforting, what do you think?
“I watched today as many of you heard words that changed your future. The words struck a chord in your soul that you were never really ready to hear and there were thousands of different reactions. Mouths opened and words came out just like any other words verbalized that day or any day, but the power of those words changed your thoughts, your feelings, your actions from this day forward, your relationships…everything about you. Many of you had never anticipated it. It’s a bit strange that so many of you, although you know death is on everyone’s calendar, have never contemplated that it is on your calendar as well.
Some of the folks who heard this news today will go into a deep depression; some will fight it; some will immediately begin to see how to control it; some will give total control over to others. Anytime we are faced with death we begin to think about what we have left to do our how our life needs to change. Many will grab on to things in life that in all reality are meaningless and yet some will grab hold to the truth of what life and time are all about. Here are some of your words…which I couldn’t have expressed much better Myself.
I loved Deeper.
I gave forgiveness I’d been denying.
I became a friend a friend would like to have.
I finally took God seriously and what His book has to say.
This blog is about you and your life…and the death you have been faced with. Hey kids, listen up. Tomorrow is a GIFT. For those of you who have some time left, here is your challenge.
Love deeper.
Speak sweeter.
Forgive.
Be a friend.
Get to know Me.
If you got to know Me like I want you to, you’d be overflowing with all of the above. And more than anything you’d be letting people know about this incredible Father you have and they’d see Me in you and they’d ask you about Me and you couldn’t contain Me. And that would be your everyday, normal, walking-around-going-to-work, being-a-student, being-a-sibling, being-a-human life…and then someday when you hear of another tragedy in life that affects us or perhaps your own sobering news…you might even smile.
Because you decided a long time ago to live like you were dying. And that included getting to know Me..and that means that you already know there is no such thing as death for you. There is just moving from your house to Mine. I’ll see you soon.”
Even in the midst of tragedy we know that God is doing something in each of our lives. May Aaron’s death be a reminder to us all that life is short, people matter and that God has a tremendous plan for our lives. Remember you are a friend of God.
What Do You Say On A Day Like Today?
What do you say on a day like today? If you sat there with awkward silence as I just did in trying to even contemplate how to answer that question…your not alone. As for almost all of us, there are a tremendous amount of questions that are running through our mind but even fewer answers.
When someone we know takes their life it can be one of the most disappointing and heartbreaking events that will occur in our life. Questions begin to arise in our mind like:
-Why didn’t I see this coming?
-Was there more that I could have done?
-If I had talked with or spent more time with this person would it have changed anything?
-What do I say to their family?
-What do we do now?
-Is it okay to talk about it?
-Why?
-Why don’t I feel any emotion over this?
All of those are valid questions and probably only scratch the surface of the many questions that you have had. Here is what I know, I don’t have any answers for you. I can’t understand why this happened. I can’t understand how a teenager can take their own life. I can’t understand why we didn’t see anything that may have led us to stop this.
But through God’s grace I know that regardless of how we may or may not be handling this, the most important thing for those of us who are left here is to talk about it. We need to share, we need to keep the lines of communication open, we need to remember that it is okay to share, feel, express what are thoughts and emotions are. Whether it be grief, sorrow or anger it is necessary for the process of healing to take place that we communicate.
It is also important to point out that God allows everything for a reason. I don’t know why God would allow this, I can only assume that we will figure it out over time. But as we talked about in Fusion…God does NOT waste a pain. This just shows us that much more, how important people are, and how important it is to see others as God sees them.
My prayer is that through time this tragedy will bring all of us closer and that God will continue to use Aaron as a reminder to us all of how important it is for each of us to intentionally add value into everyone we meet.
Please use this blog, my phone, my email as a way to talk and share.
Students Having Fun
I just got back with the family from watching a horse show. I had the privilege to watch Katie & Ali Berkeyheiser as well as Regan McMinn ride and compete in various “horse stuff” competitions. They all did a great job and I have a story about Regan that I will share on Sunday night if she will let me. But it was awesome to see them in their environment having fun doing what they do.
Thursday I got to see Jake Helms who is the quarterback for the freshman squad at Garnet Valley. They were down early and then Jake came in handed off the ball and next thing you know they had a long TD run to bring the team closer. It was great as I was standing there shaking not with fear but with extreme coldness and hearing everyone cheer for Jake as he came in. Mostly girls but Jake showed great pose and did a great job.
A week ago Kathleen White tore it up with her volleyball team at GVMS. From my understanding their team had only lost 2 matches all year. She has a great serve and is probably a better volleyball player than me.
Not to long ago I got to see Emily Cremeans play soccer and she was dominate. She plays defense and she plays with no fear. She was all over the field stopping the ball. She is by far the best player on her team and you can tell she is a leader. Had a great header that saved a goal.
Why do I tell you all this? Because there are a lot of our students who are involved in their school and our community. Find out their schedules and take the time to support your friends.
