Top 10 Tips for Parents…Part 2
From birth to college Fellowship has what your looking for in the avenue of spiritual development. Talking for Kristi & Dan as well as myself our programs are available to help partner with you in growing your student relationally, emotionally and spiritually.
Encourage your students to attend our children’s and student’s programs each week. We each have incredible worship that will connect your student to the majesty of God and we will challenge your student to live a life of Christ-likeness.
Fusion is on Sunday nights and it is high energy guaranteed to challenge a student who is looking for God to go beyond what they have heard and investigate it for themselves.
Student Impact on Sunday mornings takes a large group and breaks it down smaller and goes a little deeper and gives students an avenue to express and share their opinions and views.
Cyber Cafe’s are on Wednesday night and they are online chat rooms that give students a chance to connect mid-week when things seem to get tough. They can jump on with other students and realize that they are not alone and there is hope in Christ.
Kid Venture Live meets on Sunday mornings for kids 1st-5th grade and we have the best children’s ministry anywhere. The energy that Dan brings every Sunday is unmatched. They love those kids and have created a program that is fun and relevant.
Kid Venture Babies is separated in a way that is safe and age appropriate. Kristi has taken the baby ministry to a whole notha’ level and brings her style and flair to teaching even the youngest ones about who Jesus is. Our security is unmatched because your kids matter.
UpStreet is AWESOME! The focus on UpStreet is the small group environment. They want kids to see how God’s Word fits into their lives, to learn how to talk to Him, and to build friendships that will last. I have never seen a children’s ministry with so many opportunities.
As you can see there is so much to offer from babies to teens. This is an incredible time to be a part of Fellowship “student” ministries. Get plugged in and get your students connected.
More decisions happen for Jesus before the age of 14 and it is so important to make it a priority and keep them not only involved in church as I blogged about yesterday but to keep them involved in age appropriate programs. Don’t let your kids tell you that they are getting burned out from so much “church”, that is usually just a heart issue because they either haven’t connected yet or don’t find it important yet. Be encouraged, and as others commented yesterday lead by example.
Top 10 Tips for Parents
Over the next couple days I am going to give some tips to parents that I have found from ministries across this country. I don’t know if parents even read this. Actually I’m not sure if anybody reads this. I could be just talking to myself online like I do in real life. This just became really sad.
The time your student spends at church will prepare them to make better decisions and choices in life. Making church a priority will better prepare your student for the challenge of college and adult life. We cover things that pertain to teenagers and what they are dealing with now. It is amazing what a student does get even though they may not want to be there in the first place.
Speaking of that. The decision about whether your student is going to attend church or youth group is not theirs to make-its yours. God has appointed you as the leader of the family. When your student gets older, they will thank you for making church and youth group a priority in the family.
I have watched for years now the students whose families made it a priority and those who didn’t. It is astounding the number of kids who are still plugged in and connected because they had parents who didn’t give them the freedom to choose but modeled life the lifestyle by being faithful themselves.
How Strong is Your Core?
The dictionary defines the word ‘core’ as “the central, innermost, or most essential part of anything.” The way to have excellence in everything you do is to do less of everything. What is the core of our student ministry?
What are those defining elements that serve as “the central, innermost, or most essential part” of our student ministry? What are our core principles?
Seek excellence…in everything we do it should be the best because we represent the best. We don’t want to use any excuse based on lack of funds or apathy or lack of personal.
Put effort into our environments…the environment speaks to the quality of the program itself. A great environment adds fun for the students and shows parents that we value their student.
Be tight on security…our goal is to provide a safe place for students. Every leader has a background check done on them.
Have fun…everything we do needs to be innovative and imaginative. When students are having fun they are paying attention and learning and God willing applying.
Keep the teaching age appropriate…very tough considering the age of students that we have under our care. There is a way to reach each student at their level based on where they are age wise as well as spiritually speaking.
Make the teaching applicable…we must continue to make sure that there is an application to what were teaching. Teaching without application is useless.
Make sure all kids are welcomed…it is our job to go out of our way and out of our comfort zones to make students feel welcomed. Our goal is to train students to be the church and learn how to do that on their own. Every student needs to be prayed for, prayed with, loved and discipled in order for us to be effective.
Be specific about salvation…students don’t accept Christ unless we give them opportunities to do so. We can’t muddy our language by using “christian-ese”. We must use language they understand and make sure they know what to do next.
What is our core? Is it strong? By knowing why we do what we do, we will be more effective when it comes time to introduce a student to the wonder and the love of God.
Ed Young…Session 1
At C3 Ed Young made a comment, “His talent could take him where his character could not.” What an interesting statement. There are a lot of times in life when we rely on our talent but don’t rely on God. There are also times when we compromise our character to get ahead. I think it can also be said that, talent can take you there, but character keeps you there. More than anything I am learning that it is not what I do or what I say but who I am that determines success. I so many times want things to go so perfect and yet I don’t stop to think about what am I sacrificing to get there. I have learned that it all starts with prayer and relying on God and not relying on the gifts that he has given me. Too many times I can go places based on talent but it is my character and God that will get me there and keep me there.
Make sure this week you realize the gifts that God has given you and rely on him to do awesome things instead of you relying on yourself.
Misconceptions of a Youth Pastor…Part 5
I absolutely love student ministry. I’ve devoted my life thus far to student ministry. And for years I worked on the premise that student ministry is the most important ministry in the church.
I think part of this misconception was a martyr complex. Boo-hoo nobody understand student ministry, so I’ll show them that my ministry is superior. I think part of it was insecurity. After all youth pastors aren’t “real” pastors, and it doesn’t help when so many use student ministry as a way to get their foot in the door so they can be a “real…lead” pastor. The only thing that is legitimate about my misconception was passion and even at times that was misguided. After all when your running a ministry that runs 50% of the total number of people in the church you have to be doing something right, right?
Passion is essential and it is very important that you have a sense of calling about the importance and strategic nature of youth ministry. I don’t believe everyone is called to work with students. But use caution. It’s easy to allow this good and important passion to mutate into arrogance. (There’s that stupid word again.)
For years, youth workers have thrown around the supposed fact that 80 percent of Christians make a decision for Christ prior to the age of 18. I learned that in college. I have heard that in conferences, training seminars, lectures and from youth ministry friends. And we have all used this theory to pelt people with our conviction that youth ministry is the Billy Graham of all ministries. Unfortunately for this theory, new research shows that the new breaking point is prior to 14 years of age. And the bulk of these decisions are made in children’s ministry.
Student ministry is important in that it allows students an avenue to grow from children’s ministry to “big church”. It is essential that we create environments for students to graduate from a program and not their faith. I think it is time for all of us to get off our high horse and take our rightful place among all the important ministries of Christ’s bride.
I no longer believe youth ministry is more important than other ministries in the church. (I’m just glad didn’t call me to the parking lot ministry or children’s ministry.) But I am glad that we have two of the best children’s directors in the country. Their passion and drive for children is unbelievable. They lay awake at night thinking and dreaming of how to make it better. I am so glad they are the pastors to my children. Love you Dan & Kristi you guys are awesome and other churches should be jealous of what Fellowship has in you and what your doing to build God’s kingdom.
Un-Christian
There is a book that I am reading that is very enlightening about how those who don’t know Jesus see us that do. The book is called Un-christian. What a new generation thinks about Christianity…and why it matters. The author is David Kinnaman. I got the book at the Catalyst conference that we all attended in October and I am just now getting to this book and just by looking at the table of contents you can tell it will be a book that will reshape the way you think about those we are trying to reach.
Discovering unChristian Faith
Hypocritical
Get Saved!
Antihomosexual
Sheltered
Too Political
Judgmental
From unChristian to Christian
The book starts out by saying, “Christianity has an image problem.” WOW and OUCH! So true and that just may have summed up the book and the view of most unbelievers. I heard once that people’s perception is their reality. If that statement is true, it makes me wonder, “How am I showing Christ to others?” What is their perception of Christ because of me?
Think about it…the way we live could alter the willingness for others to commit their lives to Jesus. I think it’s the shows that people get tired of…they want to see authenticity and a sense of vulnerability. I love the fact that John and the rest of our team are that way. I can assure you that what you see is what you get. Are we doing things right? Great question, and I think the answer is yes! Could we do it better? Of Course! Couldn’t you?
I think one of the biggest compliments Fellowship can get is when people from all over the country who attend some of the biggest, most influential and most cutting edge churches attend Fellowship and call this home when they migrate our way. God is good and is expanding our influence as we try to redefine church in the Delaware Valley. I think people are seeing a different type of “Christianity” at Fellowship. My prayer is this year that we will double our influence and reshape the way people see church and God.
Misconceptions of a Youth Pastor…Part 4
When you land in a church, you sense a high expectation. Now maybe those expectations are placed on you or maybe it is your own little sick mind that has thrust them upon yourself. Whatever the reason, when we walk into a new church there is the misconception that things will change immediately and that “whole notha level” will be accomplished immediately. At least that was how I thought it was…boy was I wrong.
I remember looking back and expecting change within a couple of months only to find myself wondering what happened a year later. Maybe even others wondered that same thing but didn’t say it. I had this feeling that everyone with any reason to give a rip about the youth ministry has just taken a deep breath and is waiting with expectant little grins on their faces. But no one is exhaling. You feel the pressure to perform, to get results. Quickly.
I have learned as I have watched other ministries including my own where the youth pastor comes in with a bag of tricks and a lot of flash only to see it 18 months later fall back in his lap as he packs his bag and brings his show to the next church. You can create a lot of flash in the first year, but it won’t last.
Check out Jesus. Even He didn’t make a flashy appearance to start his ministry. In fact, He did very little ministry during the first of his three years. He performed almost no miracles, and the the ones He did perform were on the private side. He didn’t stand on mountainsides and preach to thousands-or even a hundred students-that first year. Instead, He built relationships. So this misconception isn’t exactly a misconception. The first year of youth ministry is vital, and so much can be accomplished. But it’s seldom the flashy stuff.
This is what I have discovered: that youth ministry doesn’t start humming, it doesn’t get to the point where you start to become content with what is going on, until the third year. It takes that long to be able to understand the system and mix your strategy with the churches vision. It takes that long to find the great volunteers…(they like to hide for a couple years until they know you are going to stick around). It takes that long to build trust with parents and boards and the lead pastor. It takes that long to learn the culture of the community and of the church.
So, I have learned that I will have tons of time to run programs, but focusing on the fundamentals-relationships, locating and building student and adult leadership, casting vision, and communicating values, there is a short window to lay the foundation for those elements.
Misconceptions of a Youth Pastor…Part 3
There is generally in youth ministry this stereotype or complex that you have to be young to be a youth pastor. I have to admit I have had that feeling as I approach thirty of, “what will I do with my life?” It is amazing at how many churches keep it young on a continuous basis. Youth pastors get replaced right at the point that they develop enough wisdom to not make the same mistakes over and over and over again. Maybe this idea comes out of the world of sports, where younger is better and that we have to replace older, slower athletes. Or on the big screen where it is the young actors and actresses that get the “good” parts. Or corporate America where the young guns come in to change things up and create excitement. Well wherever this “younger is better” mentality came from, it’s wrong!
Don’t get me wrong young adults can and do make some of the best youth workers. They tend to have a more flexible schedule. They are usually more energetic and can get in there and tear it up with the students. They do tend to know youth culture because most of them are still on the fringes of it. And they do have a much bigger advantage of knowing what it is like to be a teenager today. BUT!
On the flip side: a seasoned adult youth worker brings maturity that younger youth workers may lack. Parents tend to trust seasoned adult youth workers with their teens. They have life experience which is invaluable to pull from. They tend to think student first and not “me” first.
Here’s how I see it: to realize the most benefits from team ministry means there has to be diversity-diversity of genders of ages, and diversity of ethnic backgrounds. Different aged leaders take on different roles in the group.
To all of those who are thinking about working with students; don’t let your age scare you that you won’t be good enough. There is a tremendous need for those of all ages to unite to see this generation become the generation of change.
In A Pit With A Lion On A Snowy Day…Part 2
So there is this part in the book where Mark Batterson quotes another book by Dr. Neal Roese called “IF ONLY”, and Roese makes a distinction between two types of regret: “regrets of action and regrets of inaction. A regret of action is wishing you hadn’t done something.” (Every been there before?) “In theological terms, it’s called a sin of commission. A regret of inaction is wishing you had done something. In theological terms, it’s a sin of omission.”
He goes on to say, “I think the church has fixated on sins of commission for far too long. We have a long lists of don’ts. Think of it as holiness by subtraction. We think holiness is the byproduct of subtracting something from our lives that shouldn’t be there. And holiness certainly involves subtraction. But I think God is more concerned about sins of omission-those things we could have and should have done. It’s holiness by multiplication. Goodness is not he absence of badness. You can do nothing wrong and still do nothing right. Those who simply run away from sin are half-Christians. Our calling is much higher than simply running away from what’s wrong. We’re called to chase lions. There is an old aphorism: ‘No Guts, No Glory.’ When we don’t have the guts to step out in faith and chase lions, then God is robbed of the glory that rightfully belongs to Him. Is anybody else tired of reactive Christianity that is more known for what it’s against that what it’s for? We’ve become far too defensive. We’ve become far too passive. Lion chasers are proactive. They know that playing it safe is risky. Lion chasers are always on the lookout for God-ordained opportunities.”
God has been rocking my world about this idea, especially with teenagers, that a relationship with Christ is a long list of don’ts. Teenagers say that all the time that they feel being a Christ-follower is about a list of stuff they can’t do. When in reality being a Christ-follower is more about what we have to live for. I even talked with somebody recently who mentioned about a youth pastor who has set up such a strict way of living that there is no way the students can attain that level of perfection, including the leader himself.
What picture of God are we painting to this generation and the next?
Are we painting a picture of a God who is so above us that He is unattainable and a God who lacks love and grace?
Or should we be painting a picture of God who wants the best for us, who loves us and who shows us undeserved grace. Kind of like what we should be showing to others.
In A Pit With A Lion On A Snowy Day
I’m currently reading “one of those books”. It’s one of those books that makes you hold the mirror up to yourself and go…hmm. Mark Batterson who is the lead pastor of National Community Church in Washington D.C. He wrote an entire book on an obscure passage of scripture found in 2 Samuel 23:20-21.
There was also Benaiah son of Jehoiada, a valiant warrior from Kabzeel. He did many heroic deeds, which included killing two of Moab’s mightiest warriors. Another time he chased a lion down into a pit. then, despite the now and slippery ground, he caught the lion and killed it. Another time, armed only with a club, he killed a great Egyptian warrior who was armed with a spear. Benaiah wrenched the spear from the Egyptian’s hand and killed him with it.
First of all, who in the world picks out that verse to write a book on? OK stupid question, obviously Mark Batterson. That is a passage of scripture that I would never have circled and said, “that is powerful, I’m going to use that one day.” However Mark saw something in that, that would shape today’s culture through the power of his words. Later it goes on to say how Benaiah became the bodyguard for the King of Israel, David.
I said this last week to our teens, that we are too look for opportunities for greatness even in the midst of the worst situations. I challenge you this week to look at that trial you are struggling with as an opportunity for greatness. That maybe right around the corner from a lion, God has a bodyguard position ready for you.
“God is in the business of strategically positioning us in the right place at the right time. But the right place often seems like the wrong place, and the right time often seems like the wrong time.” Spiritual maturity is seeing and seizing God-ordained opportunities.
