This Generation
I was reading a blog by Josh Griffin who is the high school pastor at Saddleback Church and I saw this video.
This is one of the first videos that I feel really depicts youth, their culture and what they are feeling. So many times we assume we know what they are going through when in reality their culture is changing at an alarming rate and we wonder how they could possibly be so confused or not have it figured out. Because when we were their age…we really can’t use that statement anymore. Anybody who works with teens or parents teens needs to see this video, it is well worth the watch. All I can say is we need to pray for this generation and take every opportunity to speak truth into their lives by our actions and not just our words.
After School Specials & Saying No
I learned how to say no by watching after school specials in the eighties. Do you remember those? Just say no was theme in so many of them when it came to drugs, strangers, drinking and sex. I learned a lot of lessons from Scott Baio that I have applied to everyday aspects of my life.
I have been watching my friends and even myself fall into this trap of performance based pleasing. Not being able to say no because by nature were people pleasers. This is just a reminder that you have to say no to good things so you can say yes to the best. I sat in life group a couple weeks ago and talked about how can we remove the clutter that keeps our kids from having a healthy relationship with God, us and others. A lot of good answers, techniques and solutions were thought. I still say the best way to prevent or remove clutter is to simply say no.
Nobody cares about your schedule as much as you do. Nobody cares about protecting your time like you do. Focus on finding those things that really important and value and chase them. Don’t be afraid to let people down. Jesus did not heal everyone in the physical sense while on earth. He didn’t eat at everyone’s house and I would bet he probably turned some “ministry opportunities” because he was focused on a goal. Maybe we say yes to everything because we really don’t know what is important to us. Do you have goals?
Parent Conflicts
I have been asked several times recently by friends in the ministry if I have parent conflicts and if so how do I deal with them? The answer is not really. There will always be “that parent” in any ministry setting. I also realize that one day I may be “that parent” myself. The reality when working with parents is to stay humble. I may not have teenagers of my own but in youth culture I am an expert. Let me explain that last comment. For nine years I have worked with a tremendous amount of teenagers day in and day out and had them share with me some of the most horrific experiences as well as shared with them the greatest victories in their journey to grow in Christ. For parents just starting out with teenagers, I have nine years experience on them but I am far from knowing it all, but to a parent I am a expert. I am the one that they will look to for answers. That is a huge responsibility and it requires everyone who works with teenagers to do their best to become an expert in their field.
Here are a couple things I have learned the hard way in working with parents in ministry:
- It is not us vs. them. The reality is parents are still the strongest voice in a teenagers voice. We need to celebrate that not undermine it. Youth ministry is still in it’s infancy stage as a “ministry” in the church. Youth ministry should exist as a support to the family not as a competition with the family. Too many youth pastors think that because they relate better with kids they know more. We need to elevate parents and their authority in ministry and be ministries helping parents disciple their own kids.
- Parents will shape their view of your youth ministry based on their kids reaction. You will have more parents in your office not to explode with joy over their students success, although those times do happen, but it will be because their kids don’t feel connected or loved. Connect by growing smaller and give ownership to your team. Parents will see that you are making the effort. It’s not about programs but about relationships that will create depth in a student.
- Youth ministry is a family ministry. This means don’t overdue programs, keep the cost down, keep parents informed. The quickest way to get a parent upset at you is not to keep them informed. Help parents understand that they are the greatest spiritual voice in their child’s life. Teach parents that the role of the church is to come along side what is being taught at home.
- Be a resource. Keep them informed about youth culture and get everything you can for them.
Remember to have a healthy ministry with students and parents you must submit and humble yourselves to serve them. Remember why you got into youth ministries to begin with, it was to see lives changed.
‘Sexting’ surprise: Teens face child porn charges
Parents: I pray for you. Raising teenagers is not easy, especially when they grow up so quick. This article does not shock me because I have written on this before, but it scares me that the age continues to drop.
“In an unusual legal case arising from the increasingly popular practice known as “sexting,” six Pennsylvania high school students are facing child pornography charges after three teenage girls allegedly took nude or semi-nude photos of themselves and shared them with male classmates via their cell phones. The female students at Greensburg Salem High School in Greensburg, Pa., all 14- or 15-years-old, face charges of manufacturing, disseminating or possessing child pornography while the boys, who are 16 and 17, face charges of possession, according to WPXI-TV in Pittsburgh, which published the story on its Web site on Tuesday.”
You can read the full article here. You may want to check out the poll that they did with over 1200 students and young adults. Eye opening to say the least. I may even give this poll to our teens at some point. The file is a PDF. Download it to your desktop and check it out.
