Rivalries Shouting Out Profanity
I sometimes wonder when I’m driving and I see a Verizon employee drive past a Comcast employee do they each have this bitter rivalry that they can’t even smile at each other. Do they wish harm on the other person? Is there such a competition about who’s company and in essence who is the best that they can’t stand in the same elevator together? Do they shout out profanity and insults about each other’s family and friends? What about some of these rivalries?
- BMW vs. Mercedes drivers?
- Eagles vs. Cowboys fans? Although I am pretty sure Eagles fans say a lot about a lot of things and people. May need to roll up the window for that one if the kids are in the backseat.
- Nike vs. Adidas?
- North Carolina vs. Duke?
- Coke vs. Pepsi?
- PC vs. Apple?
Do these companies wish for their competitor to be successful? Do they hope that they will grow as individuals or as a company? Do they want the very best for them? It’s not whether you win or lose it’s how you play the game, yeah right, we all know that is why you keep score. It’s to win, right? See you can say all the right things publicly but do you really mean it? Sometimes companies thrive under that winner take all, domination of the underdog mentality. What about the church?
Is your church generally happy for the church down the street that has higher attendance? The church that offers more programs or has better ministries? The church who serves the community more or has a greater impact globally through missions? The church who gets the media coverage or plants more churches? How you respond to that will directly reflect your attitude about God and His Kingdom.
- The church who cares more about the Kingdom than their own personal influence, I believe, will in the long run be the healthier church.
- The church who cheers on the church down the street as they experience life change instead of complaining about how or what they are doing, I believe, in the long run will be the healthier church.
- Too many churches bicker and fight over who they have and who they share instead of realizing there are thousands of people who need Jesus.
- I believe God blesses those who are Kingdom minded.
- I believe God cheers on the church who is more concerned about people connecting to Him than people connecting to the institution.
- I believe God celebrates when He sees communities working together to achieve something only explained by God.
- I believe that people will respond more to (a) church(es) who work together to reach communities than fight against each other to reach an individual.
I am as competitive as the next person. I want the biggest church. I want the best programs. I want the media coverage. I want see the life change. I want to have that influence to help people meet Jesus. I want, I want, I want. I want God to take individuals and use them to do something that is so insane that it can only be explained by God. I want God to transform homes. I want God to transform communities. I want to see generations affected by His Gospel. I want to be used by God.
It won’t ever happen if it becomes about me, my agenda, my personality, my vision or my effort. It is a collaborative effort of individuals and churches working together to honor God and to share His name. If everybody worked together to make God’s name famous than I believe He will build our circle of influence, our churches and our impact. It’s about serving others with no strings attached. It’s not about what you will get out of it but what can you give.
What’s your thoughts?
Mercedes & Bruce
What would you be willing to give up? I mean if you clearly felt God say to you that it is time to give it up to move along, what would you be willing to give up? How about give up your E-Class Mercedes for a conversion van named “Bruce”? Sounds crazy right? It did to me as well as I had a chance to drive that Mercedes this weekend. People treat you different in a Mercedes. People give you more respect and to be honest you feel differently driving it and getting out of it.
I have watched some friends of mine get messed up by God in a really good way over the last couple years. They keep listening to God no matter how crazy it sounds and He keeps blessing them and increasing their influence. I have watched them have little faith to incredible faith. I have watched them go from materialistic to some of the most generous people I have ever met. How did this happen? They believe in this passionate crazy idea that God loves them and has a plan for their life and that everything they have is His. Let me type that again. They believe in this passionate crazy idea that God loves them and has a plan for their life and that everything they have is His. That’s it. No secret formula. No recipe for success. They simply are living to the best of their ability how Christ lived. Serving everybody they can because at the end of the day its not about building the church but about building the kingdom. It’s about seeing God take those who have and bless those who have not. It’s about watching God do something extraordinary through the ordinary. Its about being willing.
I pray for my friends as they continue to change their lifestyle from being about them to being about others and most importantly Him. I pray for them as they turn in their Mercedes today to drive a van called “Bruce” so they can help those who do not have get to church and hear about Jesus and become those who truly have. You can check out their ministry here to see how you can get involved in radical sacrifice.
A Story
Everybody has a story. Some stories are understandable and some are unexplainable. Some stores will leave you shocked and some stories will leave you bored. Some stories challenge your very thinking and way of life but the reality is everybody has a story.
I watched The Soloist tonight about a guy who was a talented musician who left Julliard due to mental issues only to end up living on the streets in LA. A writer by chance befriends him and a relationship ensues. Why did this strike me in any way? Because somebody simply stopped and asked him about his story. Somebody took the time to ask.
I know I get busy and it becomes about me and I wonder why I don’t ask others about their stories more often. I’m selfish by nature and want to share mine. I’m challenging myself this week to listen to the stories of those around me. I simply want to stop and ask them about their life. I want to know how did they get where they are today.
So I ask you, what is your story?
New Team Member: Billy Stephens
Billy recently joined the FSM staff at Fellowship Church. Here’s a little bit of information about him to help you get to know him better. When you see him, be sure to introduce yourself and give him a huge welcome!
The Basics:
Family info: I live in Newark, DE. I have 3 sisters (2 0lder, 1 younger) a mom and a dad
Pet: Lots of fish
Hometown: College: Not currently in college (Ryan works me too hard), Just graduated from High School
Your Ministry:
What got you interested in doing youth ministry: Ryan asked me to be the intern, and I now feel God is calling me into youth ministries in some way.
Favorite part of being a youth worker: Being able to connect with students on a different level, rather than being one of the students.
How will you serve in FSM: Wherever I am needed to serve. My title is “Intern”.
Finish The Sentence:
My top three “must do’s” before I die are…Missions trip to Africa, Skydive
My friends describe me as…Funny, quiet and outgoing (yes both), and honest.
I’ve always wondered…Why so many people are “against” God.
When they make a movie about my life who will play me…John Krasinski (The Office)
The movie about my life will be a…Comedy
Personal Favorites:
Bible Verse: Psalms 91 (okay that’s a chapter)
Song: I Can Only Imagine (Mercy Me)
Movie: Facing the Giants
TV Show: The Office
Game: I enjoy all games
Book: Anything by Ted Dekkar
Clothing Store: WALMART
Color: Green
When I Was In High School:
I was…at a vo-tech school studying to become an electrician.
I was voted most likely to…Not Talk
My greatest fear was…failing my senior challenge
My most embarrassing moment was…Throwing up in the hallway!
If I could do one thing over, I would…Probably choose a different career path to study.
How Can Students Connect With You:
Office Phone: 610.358.1358
Cell Phone: 302.598.1355
Email: billy@fellowshiptoday.com
Facebook: I don’t remember the URL
Twitter: Ryan is working on me about this.
Parent Conflicts
I have been asked several times recently by friends in the ministry if I have parent conflicts and if so how do I deal with them? The answer is not really. There will always be “that parent” in any ministry setting. I also realize that one day I may be “that parent” myself. The reality when working with parents is to stay humble. I may not have teenagers of my own but in youth culture I am an expert. Let me explain that last comment. For nine years I have worked with a tremendous amount of teenagers day in and day out and had them share with me some of the most horrific experiences as well as shared with them the greatest victories in their journey to grow in Christ. For parents just starting out with teenagers, I have nine years experience on them but I am far from knowing it all, but to a parent I am a expert. I am the one that they will look to for answers. That is a huge responsibility and it requires everyone who works with teenagers to do their best to become an expert in their field.
Here are a couple things I have learned the hard way in working with parents in ministry:
- It is not us vs. them. The reality is parents are still the strongest voice in a teenagers voice. We need to celebrate that not undermine it. Youth ministry is still in it’s infancy stage as a “ministry” in the church. Youth ministry should exist as a support to the family not as a competition with the family. Too many youth pastors think that because they relate better with kids they know more. We need to elevate parents and their authority in ministry and be ministries helping parents disciple their own kids.
- Parents will shape their view of your youth ministry based on their kids reaction. You will have more parents in your office not to explode with joy over their students success, although those times do happen, but it will be because their kids don’t feel connected or loved. Connect by growing smaller and give ownership to your team. Parents will see that you are making the effort. It’s not about programs but about relationships that will create depth in a student.
- Youth ministry is a family ministry. This means don’t overdue programs, keep the cost down, keep parents informed. The quickest way to get a parent upset at you is not to keep them informed. Help parents understand that they are the greatest spiritual voice in their child’s life. Teach parents that the role of the church is to come along side what is being taught at home.
- Be a resource. Keep them informed about youth culture and get everything you can for them.
Remember to have a healthy ministry with students and parents you must submit and humble yourselves to serve them. Remember why you got into youth ministries to begin with, it was to see lives changed.
