This Generation

I was reading a blog by Josh Griffin who is the high school pastor at Saddleback Church and I saw this video.

This is one of the first videos that I feel really depicts youth, their culture and what they are feeling.  So many times we assume we know what they are going through when in reality their culture is changing at an alarming rate and we wonder how they could possibly be so confused or not have it figured out.  Because when we were their age…we really can’t use that statement anymore.  Anybody who works with teens or parents teens needs to see this video, it is well worth the watch.  All I can say is we need to pray for this generation and take every opportunity to speak truth into their lives by our actions and not just our words.

Shape Me

There is no question the profound impact that music can and does have on an individual and a culture.  From childhood sing-along songs to the early teenage years of listening to the “non parent approved” songs but only because we like the beat not the words.  Music can change your emotions and take you places.  It can set the mood or it can take you out of a mood.  The reality is that movies would not be nearly as effective without their sound tracks, think Top Gun, Rocky, Rudy, Braveheart or The Notebook, um…never mind that last one.  We can think of a song and tie it back to a location or an event.  Maybe its the conception of a child, first kiss, a death a friend or a road that you were driving on.  I can even pinpoint certain songs to smells and feelings.  Music is powerful not matter how you package it.

I was thinking about the music that has shaped me and potentially my “Gen X” generation, er, if that’s how you say it.

• Nirvana
• U2
• Michael Jackson
• Green Day
• Smashing Pumpkins
• Hootie and the Blowfish
• Pearl Jam
• Oasis
• Dave Matthews Band
• Wheezer
• The Offspring
• The Fugees
• Bush
• Foo Fighters
• Alanis Morissette
• Collective Soul
• Gin Blossoms
• Live
• Candlebox
• The Presidents of the United States of America
• The Wallflowers
• Radiohead
• REM
• Sound Garden

Each of these groups had a song that reminds me of an event, a person and a memory.

What bands have had a part of shaping who you are?

Jump

There are those moments that define you.  Those moments where you realize what God has been doing in your life and yet you didn’t understand it, until now. Anybody who has been in ministry looks for those moments.  Those moments encourage us when it gets tough.  Those moments remind us why we do what we do.  Those moments are given to us by God because He knows we needed to hear it at that moment.

Had a newer student post on their blog one of those moments for them.  First let me say, I love to see students blogging and sharing their lives as an online author.  Second, for a student to put anything like this out publicly shows me that God is doing something incredible in their life.

Name: Betsey Suchanic

School: Garnet Valley High School

Blog: Tall Buildings and Tiny Epidemics

 

 

Tonight I jumped. I literally jumped. My life changed tonight.

I got my first boyfriend.

That was wonderful. =D But my life changed in a whole different way too.

After my dad died, I lost faith in God. It wasn’t intentional. It wasn’t like one day I just decided that I didn’t believe anymore. I couldn’t understand why my dad had to be taken away. Over a couple of months it just faded away. I still believed, but not with my whole heart. I really wanted too. I just couldn’t.

Tonight that changed.

I finally understand. Between the stuff we discussed in our life groups and the video we watched after. I just understand. I can’t give a real explanation for why I understand. But I do. I’m so happy I do. I’m so grateful for being able to go to this church.

So tonight I jumped. I literally jumped. My life changed tonight.

(I cannot believe I’m actually posting this.)

 

I love the defining moments in a teenagers life.  What have been some of your defining moments?  What has been that moment that keeps you going and reminds you why you do what you do when it gets tough?

Gap: Talk To The Moose

A Ninja

I have to introduce you to one of our students Sean Rotter.  Sean is a part of our praise band which is called, “Donny and The Praise Ninjas” and he plays both bass and guitar.  Sean plays on Sunday mornings with Jeff and this kid is super talented.  His band at high school is called Squid and they have played a show at the LOFT and will be doing so again with Nick’s Mc Gowan’s Band, Last Hour Battle on November 13th.

What you may not know about Sean is that he is a Ninja.  Not just in the praise band but in real life.  On Friday night Sean earned his 3rd Degree Black Belt.  This is a HUGE deal.  In my studying of this culture I have learned that now that Sean is a 3rd Degree Black Belt he has earned the right to be a teacher and I beleive he has now earned the right to be called a Sensei.

I remember watching the Karate Kid movies as I grew up thinking how much dedication and discipline it must take to get to that point.  I am so proud of Sean and when you see him congratulate him on this huge accomplishment, just don’t make him angry, you won’t like him when he’s angry.

Long Overdue Thoughts-VMA’s

A little long but worth the read.

I have been struggling with the blogging world as well as keeping up with reading blogs this last couple weeks.  I read Walt Mueller’s blog on the VMA’s and wanted to share it.  His insights on youth culture are priceless and typically accurate.  He has a website called Center for Parent Youth Understanding and it is a great resource for parents.  This is taken word for word from his blog. I will say that the VMA’s never cease to shock and annoy me with how quickly we will head south to get a quick laugh, regardless of whether it makes sense.  I do love the production aspect of the program and I do enjoy seeing where youth culture is headed before we get there because teens naturally follow what they see.

Did you get to see the VMAs? I’m hoping you did and that you’re up for sharing your thoughts about the broadcast, the questions I posted here on Friday, and the implications of it all in terms of our ministries with kids.

I decided that this year I’d do something a little bit different. Rather than watch and then let it all ferment in my brain overnight, I decided to blog just a few of my thoughts in real time, posting them as soon as the show ends. So here comes Madonna to the mic . . . . talking, as expected, about Michael Jackson. . . and I’ll be jotting my thoughts as they occur. Hopefully you’ll be able to glean something from it all.

-Is it me, or is Madonna’s monologue a little bit creepy? How does Joe Jackson feel about Madonna talking about the fallout from his son’s lack of a childhood? And what would that have been like if Michael Jackson and Madonna had wound up as a couple? In his death, will Michael Jackson continue to be deified in spite of Madonna’s claims that he was only human? Yep. . . Michael Jackson was good and really talented. But we continue to slide into holding celebrities up higher than we should, doing ourselves and them no favors at all.

-Russell Brand’s opening monologue picks up where he left off last year. There are no bounds in what we talk about when it comes to sexuality. Brand has set his mark for the evening. . . Lady Gaga. He’s expressed what he wants to do with her, while telling the world about her bisexuality. The censors did kick in a couple of times, but you have to wonder how long those conventions will be held.

-And then the Best Female Video goes to Taylor Swift. Considering what this 19-year-old was up against, it’s good to see something and someone more wholesome take home the moon man. But surprise surprise. Kanye West ruins Swift’s moment by grabbing the mike and making a fool of himself by talking about Beyonce. . . nominated in this category. . . having one of the best videos of all time. Again, more evidence of our collective loss of respect, kindness, civility and decency. Another inflated ego tries to steal the show. Thank goodness, many in the crowd stood and applauded the shocked Swift. Wow. . . it didn’t take long for the first wacky moment of the night.

-I know Jack Black was trying to be silly in his mock prayer to the devil. . . but again . . . . creepy. When you know the enemy is real, it’s not

Teen Girl Pressure

Heard this today from a link on facebook from Walt Mueller, who is a expert when it comes to youth culture.  That is what he and his team do is study the dynamics of parents and teens.  His website it www.cpyu.org and it is a great resource for parents to talk with their kids/teens about issues that they are facing.  This is a great 1 minute clip that briefly lets you know what teen girls are facing today, it is definitely worth a listen.

LISTEN HERE

The Teenager Audio Test

Clicking the play button below will produce a tone that is generally only heard by people under the age of 25. It has been used as a deterrent device to keep teenagers from loitering in malls and shops, and sounds similar to a buzzing mosquito. Typically the longer you listen to it, the more annoying it gets.

Columbine_10 Years Later

April 20, 1999 changed the face of youth culture as we know it.  Columbine High School in Littleton, Colorado became the focal point of the worst school shooting massacre in history.  When all was said and done the killers’ own suicides, 12 students and a teacher were dead, and 23 students were wounded, several of them critically.  It took days for the police to find and defuse all of the 30 propane  and pipe bombs that had been planted.  Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold casually walked around deciding which of their classmates would live and which would die.  Two female students were asked if they believed in God and when they answered “yes” they were shot at point blank range.

I remember I was sitting in my campus ministry youth class when I heard the news and I remember thinking, “How would I handle this, If I was a youth pastor there” and I had no answer.  Nobody knew what to say or what to do because nothing like this had happened before on this magnitude.  I remember spending hours watching the news trying to find out why these two guys would do this and take so many innocent lives. Later in the year some survivors came to speak to our class about the tragedy.  Songs were written to remember Cassie Bernall.

April 20, 1999 was a wake up call to administrators, parents, students and the local church that nobody is exempt.  It was a wake up call that there are hurting students and there are warning signs and it is so important for us in “charge” to be on the lookout for the hurting and broken.

“First, there’s more brokenness and suffering. Kids are hurting. Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold didn’t just simultaneously snap one April morning. Their hurt and pain had simmered and grown over the course of a long, long time. Then, the only way out they could find was the way they chose.

Second, the stuff that kids should never have to deal with is having to be dealt with by kids at younger and younger ages. It’s called age compression. What the Columbine student body witnessed was horrible. It would have been horrible for an adult. It’s even worse for kids.

Third, nobody is immune. Anyone. Anywhere. Anytime. It doesn’t matter where you live, where you go to school, where you go to church, if you go to church. . . . nobody is immune. Youth culture’s issues, pressure, problems, challenges, and choices exist without borders.

And finally, sooner or later. All of our kids will have to deal with difficult stuff and make difficult decisions.”

It is so crucial that students have an avenue to communicate.  The teenage years are cruel for any student, let alone those who are socialy awkward.  The reality is there are students who need Jesus.  The reality is there are students going to hell.  The reality is there is a God who loves them and wants a relationship with them.  Today will be a day that is filled with magazine and TV visual reminders from 10 years ago.  It is crucial for us not to turn a blind eye to what has happened but learn from it so that it can be prevented from happening again.

Take a momement to pray for the families who were tragically rocked by ten years ago today.

• Cassie Bernall, 17_aspiring doctor, always had her Bible at school
• Steven Curnow, 14_soccer player, hoped to pilot a Navy F-16
• Corey DePooter, 17_fly fisher, hoped to join Marines
• Kelly Fleming, 16_wrote poems, stories and songs
• Matthew Kechter, 16_ straight A football player
• Daniel Mauser, 15_ planned to climb first peak with dad
• Danny Rohrbough, 15_worked in his father’s electronics shop
• Rachel Scott, 17_starred in school play, little brother pretended to be dead and survived
• Isaiah Shoels, 18_just 5’2″, could benchpress twice his weight
• John Tomlin, 16_devout Christian, aided the poor in Mexico
• Lauren Towsend, 18_volleyball captain, strong candidate for valedictorian.
• Kyle Valasquez
• Dave Sanders, 47_popular teacher, got students to safety, last words: ‘Tell my girls I love them.’

This is an old song from Michael W. Smith that was written about Cassie Bernall and her choice to say yes when asked if she believes in God.

Middle School Sex

I get asked frequently if I think it is appropriate to talk to students about sex?  My answer is yes, Jesus talked about it and in fact the book of Song of Solomon talks about dating and courtship which obviously applies to single people.  I have also been asked is it appropriate to talk about it so young, aren’t you just making them interested in it.  Yes, because I talk about sex all of our students are running out and doing it.  I think that may be giving to much power and influence to any speaker.  The reality is students are talking about sex younger and younger.  Students are also blindly experimenting with it younger and younger.  On Church Relevance website they posted an article that The University of Texas School of Public Health did.

They recently discovered that middle school sex happens more often than most think. According to their study:

• 1/3 of students experienced precoital touching behaviors
  >> 43% of these students experienced sexual intercourse
• 12% of students experienced vaginal sex by age 12
• 7.9% of students experienced oral sex by age 12
• 6.5% of students experienced anal sex by age 12
• 4% of students experienced all three types of sex by age 12

Among sexually active middle school students:

• 1/3 experienced vaginal or anal sex without a condom within the past three months
• 1/4 had four or more partners

Obviously, this trend is alarming morally. But researcher Christine Markham also states:

These findings are alarming because youth who start having sex before age 14 are much more likely to have multiple lifetime sexual partners, use alcohol or drugs before sex and have unprotected sex, all of which puts them at greater risk for getting a sexually transmitted disease or becoming pregnant.

I think middle school ministry is usually too soft. It is a difficult age to teach because some students are still years away from puberty while others are already beginning to experiment with sex, drugs, alcohol, and porn. Children’s ministers don’t like to touch taboo topics, but when 1 in 3 students are feeling each other up, how can they afford not to?

It takes tact, grace, and wisdom to discuss these things with students without offending or embarrassing them or their parents. It is challenging but worth it. It is much easier for a middle school minister to teach a preventive message than it is for a high school minister to rewire students’ established bad habits.

I wish we didn’t have to talk about subjects like this that destroy students lives but I do believe it starts at home with parents sharing openly and discussing with their students about sex and not just “the talk” once, but open communication.  After all do we really believe that they will be confronted with this only once?  So why are we talking about it only once?  It is time that parents and the church address the pink elephant in the room.

Parents: when is it too early to address it?  Is it better to wait until they start to face it or address it before they face it?  How have you tackled this tough subject with your teen or preteen?

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