25 Days Of Christmas_Day 12
Here is a picture of last year’s family Christmas card…somewhere on it was written Merry Christmas from the Geigers.
Family pictures for the yearly Christmas card. If you know me you know exactly where this is headed. What a treasured memory to keep for years and years and years to come. Speaking of years doesn’t it feel like it takes years to get the “perfect” picture. Two cameras and over a hundred shots to get the perfect picture. Pretty sure I heard Lady Gaga in the background singing Paparazzi. Either way it has become a family tradition that I have little to NO say in.
I will say however that I enjoy looking back and seeing the boys and how they grow up.
What is your family photo experience like? Do you make your own cards each year?
Dysfunctional Families
While at Catalyst I had the privilege of hearing Reggie Joyner speak about the family and there was a ton of great stuff but there was one quote that stuck in my head more than anything. He said “There are no good pictures of the family in the Bible.” I thought surely he has to be wrong. If the family is so important to God then how in the world does He not give us a picture of a what a good family looks like or at least a somewhat normal one look like?
- Adam’s Family. Started with blame and ended with murder. Adam blamed Eve for eating the apple which I’m sure went over well every night at dinner as Adam got home from work. [Well I wouldn't have had to go to work today if you hadn't eaten the apple...I could be playing with the zebra's naked] Bickering went on which I am sure affected their relationship with their kids. [Mommy why is daddy always naked, he just can't let go of the past.] Eventually the bickering between brothers led to Cain killing his brother Abel.
- Abraham’s family. Abraham pretends that Sarah is his sister and then Abraham gets another woman pregnant. Then one day Abraham says to his son Isaac trust me as he raises a knife to kill him. Serious counseling and trust issues had to occur in that family.
- Jacob’s family. Jacob had 13 kids with 4 different woman. Jerry Springer is looking for Jacob currently for his next episode.
I have looked through the scriptures and found nothing. Not one picture of what the family is supposed to look like. I wonder if it’s because the family is not supposed to look like a specific image? As individuals who make up families we are to look like Christ. That is our ultimate goal. Go ahead and read the Bible and look for a normal family. Trust me when I say it will make your dysfunctional family feel a little bit more normal. Strive to look like Jesus and maybe your family will as well.
Parent Conflicts
I have been asked several times recently by friends in the ministry if I have parent conflicts and if so how do I deal with them? The answer is not really. There will always be “that parent” in any ministry setting. I also realize that one day I may be “that parent” myself. The reality when working with parents is to stay humble. I may not have teenagers of my own but in youth culture I am an expert. Let me explain that last comment. For nine years I have worked with a tremendous amount of teenagers day in and day out and had them share with me some of the most horrific experiences as well as shared with them the greatest victories in their journey to grow in Christ. For parents just starting out with teenagers, I have nine years experience on them but I am far from knowing it all, but to a parent I am a expert. I am the one that they will look to for answers. That is a huge responsibility and it requires everyone who works with teenagers to do their best to become an expert in their field.
Here are a couple things I have learned the hard way in working with parents in ministry:
- It is not us vs. them. The reality is parents are still the strongest voice in a teenagers voice. We need to celebrate that not undermine it. Youth ministry is still in it’s infancy stage as a “ministry” in the church. Youth ministry should exist as a support to the family not as a competition with the family. Too many youth pastors think that because they relate better with kids they know more. We need to elevate parents and their authority in ministry and be ministries helping parents disciple their own kids.
- Parents will shape their view of your youth ministry based on their kids reaction. You will have more parents in your office not to explode with joy over their students success, although those times do happen, but it will be because their kids don’t feel connected or loved. Connect by growing smaller and give ownership to your team. Parents will see that you are making the effort. It’s not about programs but about relationships that will create depth in a student.
- Youth ministry is a family ministry. This means don’t overdue programs, keep the cost down, keep parents informed. The quickest way to get a parent upset at you is not to keep them informed. Help parents understand that they are the greatest spiritual voice in their child’s life. Teach parents that the role of the church is to come along side what is being taught at home.
- Be a resource. Keep them informed about youth culture and get everything you can for them.
Remember to have a healthy ministry with students and parents you must submit and humble yourselves to serve them. Remember why you got into youth ministries to begin with, it was to see lives changed.
March UNITED
March UNITED from Ryan Geiger on Vimeo.
The Family Series
What is under your roof? This is the series that will launch at our upcoming UNITED in March. March 7th at 6:00pm join students from all over the Delaware Valley as we worship an incredible God and find out what He has to say about the relationships we have with our families.
March 8, 15, 22, 29 are our life group nights at 6:00pm. We will continue this series as we deal with everything from death, abuse, family sickness to competition, respect, and favoritism in families.
