In The Dash- Friends
I have friends I don’t deserve who have had way more influence in my life than I have had in theirs. Friends who have made me a better husband and father because of their influence in my life. They have shown grace, mercy, forgiveness and love, even in the midst of my pride, arrogance and selfishness.
It’s so important to stop and say thank you. In the hectic rush of life so many times we take advantage or take for granted those who lift up our arms to be successful or those who stand beside us in our brokenness.
One-on-one time with key friends is not for everyone; it’s for those who know you the best and who love you unconditionally. It’s not time for those who stand on the outside and are friends from a far or friends only in the good times.
Action Step:
◊ Spend time with key friends.
In The Dash- Mission Legacy
What is drastic? For some drastic would be to attempt to write a book. For others it may be to share their feelings and emotions. Either way, in our life we want to be known for the legacy we leave behind. Even if we have made mistakes in the past, they do not define our legacy and our identity.
Our legacy will be defined by how we’ve learned from our mistakes and made those mistakes our mission. How we’ve been able to get back up may be the most drastic legacy we can leave for our children in a world.
To offer grace and forgiveness and to also accept grace and forgiveness from others is crucial. To own our mistakes, learn from our mistakes, and allow our mistakes to become our mission, while accepting and offering grace and forgiveness may be our biggest legacy.
Action Step:
◊ Do something drastic to leave a legacy for my children.
In The Dash- Held And Release
I have hurt a lot of people in my life. My pride and selfishness have caused pain for others as well as myself. I have held grudges and put up walls in relationships. I have learned both in hurting and being hurt that hurt people, hurt people.
During one season of my life God stripped me of all pride and I was left with nothing other than offering grace and forgiveness to others and requesting it in return. Nothing will set you more free than asking for forgiveness of those you have hurt and letting go and forgiving those who have hurt you.
I have asked to be fully released from those all the way back to high school and I have had to fully release others…even if they did not offer it…Its hard, but it’s healthy and its the right thing to do.
ACTION STEP:
◊ Fully release those who have hurt you and ask for forgiveness of those who you have hurt.
How To Survive After Your Greatest Failure?
When Harold Camping failed on his prediction for the world to end my heart went out to him because at that moment I realized that he was about to face his greatest failure. Failure is humbling. What do you do after your greatest failure?
What do you do when the world now laughs at you and mocks you? Sure your failure may not have been public and your failure may not have affected hundreds of thousands of people…but you do what every successful person who has ever failed before has done.
You get back up, learn from your past, do not repeat your mistakes, allow God to make your mess your mission, show others more grace than you yourself received in your failure, treat others with respect and learn to laugh about it.
What else can you do after failure?
People Of The Second Chance
Who hasn’t messed up and needed a second chance? If you just answered no, not me, you should probably start reading another blog. My life is filled with mistakes, poor choices and heart aches not only for me but for the ones I love. Chances are I will let you down and disappoint you as well. It’s always easy to talk about grace and second chances. It’s hard to accept grace and a second chances from others. It’s even harder to offer grace and second chances to others.
Grace may be one of the hardest things to teach on and live out. I have appreciated People Of The Second Chance because they are an organization that keeps it real and honest and shares it how it is.
People of the Second Chance gives voice to a scandalous movement of radical grace in life and leadership. We challenge the common misconceptions about failure and success and stand with those who have hit rock bottom in their personal and professional lives. We are a community that is committed to stretch ourselves in the areas of relational forgiveness, personal transparency, and advocate for mercy over judgment. We are not ashamed of our scars, wounds, or failures and leverage them as a source of strength and character development. People of the Second Chance have experienced a second chance so we actively support social justice organizations and advocate for the vulnerable, forgotten, and left behind. We are People of the Second Chance.
I love their core values. They are simple and practical. Give a second chance, receive a second chance and be a second chance.
Two of the most influential books I have ever read are Deadly Viper: Character Assassins and Gracenomics: Unleash The Power Of Second Chance Living written by Mike Foster and Jud Wilhite who started People of the Second Chance and it has shaped my life and my view of failure. Life is difficult. It’s even more difficult to feel like you are walking through it alone. The key to success in life is to have someone to walk through it with you. Someone who accepts you in your success and someone who accepts you in your failures. Someone who no matter what is there for you and walks with you and stands with you when it gets tough. I have that. I appreciate those in my life who show me grace. Are you a grace giver or receiver? My goal in life is to be both.
God Can’t Use A Broken Vessel
I read this post below that is bolded from Jason Curlee’s blog and it totally resonated with me. There are days when in all honesty you just want to throw in the towel. When you question if you have ever really made a difference? When you question will you ever feel like God can use you? When you question, why is this so difficult? When you question why others don’t get it when they have been told over and over? When you question why you don’t get it when you have been told over and over? I wake up some days so excited about how God wants to use me today and in the future and then I go to bed deflated feeling like I have lost the battle and the will to try again.
It comes down to this question, who is it really all about? You? Others? God? You probably know the answer and yet our emotions and our feelings get in the way. Our pride and our anger get in the way. Our self-pity and horrible excuses get in the way. Just in case you didn’t know the answer, it has nothing to do with you or with others so that leaves only that it is all about God. It is only God that frees you from your past and from chains that are holding you back today. I love what Jason wrote below and I ask you the same questions, what’s holding you back? How can you start living free today? Trust me this is a journey that I am on and I don’t have the answer, but then again neither do you. We struggle with this together, but we struggle because we focus on us. There should no struggle when we focus truly on Christ and the grace that He presents us with.
“There are often times I feel God won’t ever use me fully. I mean how could He…my past is not the perfect one. I messed up A LOT. There are even days now that I walk between self-doubt and self-confidence.
I feel God wants to use me and yet I feel how can He use me.
It is in those days I have to realize I’m making it about me and not about Him. I’m not allowing myself to just be the vessel for Him to use.
BUT how can God use such a broken and ugly vessel I think……
Have you ever felt like that? If you have you are not alone. That’s why I love Ephesians 2:8-9 which says, “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith–and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God– not by works, so that no one can boast.“
Take that verse today and think on it…
what’s holding you back? how can you start living free today?”
Tiger Woods
I love working at a church that gives second chances and I love serving a God that gives unlimited chances. With that said I have been asked by several people about my thoughts about the whole Tiger Woods scandal and here are my thoughts.
For me I never elevated Tiger Woods to the status of hero in my life. I looked up to him as a golfer but never as an individual, why would I? I never met him and he has never invested into my life personally. I enjoy his Tiger Woods game and I still do.
“Like many of you I’ve been unable to escape the constant media attention given to the Tiger Woods scandal. Does it seem ironic to anyone else that the media is giving Tiger such a hard time for living out the lifestyle they portray on almost every single television show they air?” Pete Wilson
Could not have said that better. This lifestyle is around us all the time and I have been reminded how vulnerable anybody can become including myself. The one thing that has really bothered me in this entire scandal is how quickly “Christians” have thrown stones, or in the blogging world, have used their keyboards to throw out quick comments, insensitive remarks all for the sake of stats and ratings. I have found myself guilty of this as well as I passed on a game that was sent to me to some of our team. Instead of using this to slam others or add to the scandal, here are few ideas to turn this into a positive experience or a learning experience for you and your family
- Choose to use your words wisely. Or choose to type your words wisely. As quickly as this has become public and destroyed his reputation, these easily could happen to you or me. Be careful what and how we talk about others. If you are not part of the problem or the solution then what you have to say is GOSSIP.
- Don’t add to the pain. So many times we pile on and make the person feel worse instead of standing by them and encouraging them. I’m reminded how Jesus was with the woman caught in adultery. He said, you who are without sin throw the first stone, and they all walked away. He could have called her a whore and added to her pain but He took the higher ground and helped her to find redemption.
- Don’t say what you were going to say if you wouldn’t want their family or your family hear you say it. Remember your comments don’t just hurt them but have the potential to hurt their family members including your own.
- Put yourself in their shoes.
- Be careful who you put on a pedestal. In so many cases they never asked to be there and don’t deserve to be there. You must be choosy who you look up to. Anybody is capable of falling. Anybody can let you down. Keep your eyes on Christ the only one worthy of being elevated to hero status.
What are your thoughts?
If You Can
I was reading today in Mark chapter 9 about the crowd that had gathered around the demon possessed boy and how the disciples could not cast out the demon that was in him and then onto the scene walks Jesus and everything changes.
After being asked to cast out the demon Jesus says to them, “You faithless people! How long must I be with you? How long must I put up with you? Bring the boy to me.”
The boy comes over and just the fact that he was in the presence of Jesus the boy begins to foam at the mouth, shakes and falls to the ground. The dad tells Jesus that this demon keeps throwing his son in the fire and water trying to kill him. The father looks at Jesus and says “Have mercy on us and help us, if you can.”
I read that and thought that is me. When I go through a trial I condescendingly look at Jesus and say, help me if you can. Ever do that? What kind of faith is that? Jesus looks at the dad and says “What do you mean, if I can?” [I'm freaking Jesus, okay so I added that last part for dramatic emphasis, not that it was needed.] “If I can?” I’m Jesus the creator of the universe who cares about you as an individual, of course I can.
The father says something interesting again, like he hasn’t already showed his cards of disbelief, he admits to Jesus right there on the spot, “I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief!” THAT’S US! Everyday we need to say to God, I do believe but help me overcome my unbelief.
- My unbelief that you love me.
- My unbelief that you forgive me.
- My unbelief that you want all of me.
- My unbelief that my mess can become your mission.
- My unbelief that I am worthy of your grace.
- My unbelief that my junk is important to you.
- My unbelief that you can do the impossible.
- My unbelief that you are who you say you are.
How much longer will we sit with unbelief in our hearts and yet publicly state God can do anything? Our faith is a gift from God, Ephesians 2:8-9 tells us that. Faith is a constant process of daily turning to Jesus and handing Him our unbelief. He-wants-our-everything, even our unbelief. What are you handing him today?
