In The Dash- Thank You

There are so many people to thank if you think back over your life.  From that teacher who told you, you can do it and believed in you.  The coaches who pushed you beyond your limitations and helped you achieve large goals.  Your parents who sacrificed in so many areas and so many ways. Your boss who took a chance on someone with no experience. A spouse who has lived with you through ups and downs.

No matter who you are there are those people who have invested in and supported you and at the end of the day have made you who you are today.  Take the time to write a note and say thank you so they know their investment was not a waste.  Thank you are powerful words and give meaning and strength to what sometimes feels like a lost cause.

 

Action Step:

Send a thank you note to everyone who had a major influence in your life.  

In The Dash- Parental Pen Pal

One of my childhood memories is when I would receive a letter from my mom.  It usually talked about her prayers that she had for me and about how proud of me she was.  That’s always stayed close to my heart, in fact I still have the letter she gave me the day I left for college.

I believe it is important to leave a tangible expression of writing to show how much you care and to also show how willing you are to take the time to pen the words that are truly important.

I want my children to have the ability to pull out letters from their dad that speak truth and love into their lives and for them to be able to read them over and over again to remind themselves how special they are to me.

 

Action Step

◊ Letters To Each Of My Children

This Generation

I was reading a blog by Josh Griffin who is the high school pastor at Saddleback Church and I saw this video.

This is one of the first videos that I feel really depicts youth, their culture and what they are feeling.  So many times we assume we know what they are going through when in reality their culture is changing at an alarming rate and we wonder how they could possibly be so confused or not have it figured out.  Because when we were their age…we really can’t use that statement anymore.  Anybody who works with teens or parents teens needs to see this video, it is well worth the watch.  All I can say is we need to pray for this generation and take every opportunity to speak truth into their lives by our actions and not just our words.

This Is A Reminder

This is just a reminder to myself.   This is to remind myself the responsibility that I carry.  This is to remind me that my life does not just impact me but it impacts my kids.  This is a reminder that I need to step up.  This is a reminder to do better.  This is a reminder to sacrifice.  This is a reminder to serve.  This is a reminder to love.  This is a reminder to not do it like I have seen it done in the past.  This is a reminder that I have once chance.  This is a reminder that they are a gift.

I have had several conversations over the last two days about the responsibility of being a father.  I get busy, we all do.  I make excuses, we all do.  I try to justify, we all do.  It needs to stop.  I get home and I’m tired and I take off my pastor/employee hat and I crash.  This is a reminder to put on my daddy/husband hat.  In both conversations I have had it was with guys who were older who both said, “It went by so fast.”  I hear that but sometimes it doesn’t feel like it, but then I look back and see I have two kids in school this fall and I hear myself say in my heart, “It went by so fast.”

I challenge myself and I challenge you to step up.  We get one chance.  What will our legacy be?  A great employee or a great dad?  It is hard for me to say this but we can’t be great at both, we must choose.  My buddy had a great post on this as well on his site, check it out.

Sexting Video

Parents here is a link that Greg Davis sent to me that you may be interested in.  Greg Davis knows all things technical and is a great resource that you can ask almost anything to about the technology that is out there.  He is also a great resource in how to protect you and your family when it comes to technology.  Greg has his finger on the pulse of what is happening even within the youth culture when it comes to technology.  Click HERE to check out the Sexting Video Blog.

Parent Conflicts

I have been asked several times recently by friends in the ministry if I have parent conflicts and if so how do I deal with them?  The answer is not really.  There will always be “that parent” in any ministry setting.  I also realize that one day I may be “that parent” myself.  The reality when working with parents is to stay humble.  I may not have teenagers of my own but in youth culture I am an expert.  Let me explain that last comment.  For nine years I have worked with a tremendous amount of teenagers day in and day out and had them share with me some of the most horrific experiences as well as shared with them the greatest victories in their journey to grow in Christ.  For parents just starting out with teenagers, I have nine years experience on them but I am far from knowing it all, but to a parent I am a expert.  I am the one that they will look to for answers.  That is a huge responsibility and it requires everyone who works with teenagers to do their best to become an expert in their field.

Here are a couple things I have learned the hard way in working with parents in ministry:

• It is not us vs. them.  The reality is parents are still the strongest voice in a teenagers voice.  We need to celebrate that not undermine it.  Youth ministry is still in it’s infancy stage as a “ministry” in the church.  Youth ministry should exist as a support to the family not as a competition with the family.  Too many youth pastors think that because they relate better with kids they know more.  We need to elevate parents and their authority in ministry and be ministries helping parents disciple their own kids.
• Parents will shape their view of your youth ministry based on their kids reaction.  You will have more parents in your office not to explode with joy over their students success, although those times do happen, but it will be because their kids don’t feel connected or loved.  Connect by growing smaller and give ownership to your team.  Parents will see that you are making the effort.  It’s not about programs but about relationships that will create depth in a student.
• Youth ministry is a family ministry.  This means don’t overdue programs, keep the cost down, keep parents informed.  The quickest way to get a parent upset at you is not to keep them informed.  Help parents understand that they are the greatest spiritual voice in their child’s life.  Teach parents that the role of the church is to come along side what is being taught at home.
• Be a resource.  Keep them informed about youth culture and get everything you can for them.

Remember to have a healthy ministry with students and parents you must submit and humble yourselves to serve them.  Remember why you got into youth ministries to begin with, it was to see lives changed.

‘Sexting’ surprise: Teens face child porn charges

Parents:  I pray for you.  Raising teenagers is not easy, especially when they grow up so quick.  This article does not shock me because I have written on this before, but it scares me that the age continues to drop.

“In an unusual legal case arising from the increasingly popular practice known as “sexting,” six Pennsylvania high school students are facing child pornography charges after three teenage girls allegedly took nude or semi-nude photos of themselves and shared them with male classmates via their cell phones.  The female students at Greensburg Salem High School in Greensburg, Pa., all 14- or 15-years-old, face charges of manufacturing, disseminating or possessing child pornography while the boys, who are 16 and 17, face charges of possession, according to WPXI-TV in Pittsburgh, which published the story on its Web site on Tuesday.”

You can read the full article here.  You may want to check out the poll that they did with over 1200 students and young adults.  Eye opening to say the least.  I may even give this poll to our teens at some point.  The file is a PDF.  Download it to your desktop and check it out.