Prayer Of A Pastors Wife

I went to a conference a couple years ago and went to a prayer labyrinth which I had no idea what it was or really what I was getting myself into.  However, a few minutes in I was broken by a wall that stood before with posted notes from hundreds of people who wanted to share a pain or a brokenness in their life.  I came across one note that was so powerful I wrote it down and found it in my notes just the other day.

 

A LETTER FROM THE HEART OF A PASTOR’S WIFE 

GOD, 

I am so mad at you right now.  I don’t understand where I am or what I am doing.  Sometimes, I don’t even know why I remain your child.  I don’t know how to be a good wife, mother, or ministry spouse.  I don’t know what I am doing.  I have no friends.   I don’t feel like you hear me at all.  I really hate this hopeless life and I feel like I can’t help my husband when he’s hurt.  I cannot hear you.  I need a Jesus with skin on, PLEASE.  I hurt!  My heart has no room in it.  It’s in a million pieces.

                                    Help me please,

                                                      Jennifer

 

Man that crushes me because I wonder if my wife has ever felt that way?  I know there are times in life when I just wanted to quit, times when I was hurt, times when I questioned God, but to know my wife may have ever felt that way because of me and my calling it crushes me.  I continuously pray that as my wife supports me that she will feel supported by family, friends, staff and those we serve.

 

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