“People” People

Teddy Roosevelt said, “The most important single ingredient in the formula of success in leadership is knowing how to get along with people.”  Were told in Proverbs 27 to be diligent to know those around us.  I learned in college the 10 ideas to becoming a “people” person and since it was a Baptist school at the time, all of the ideas start with the letter “R”.

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1. REACH out to people.
2. REMEMBER a person’s name.
3. RECOGNIZE a person’s potential.
4. REQUEST information about them.
5. Be RESPECTFUL.
6. RELATE on their level.
7. Be RELIABLE.
8. Give REASSURANCE to people.
9. Be a RESOURCE for people.
10. REQUEST their help.

As I read through that list I thought there is at least one missing.  RESPOND.  People want to know just as much about you as you do about them.  There is a certain level of transparency that is required of a leader if the people they lead are to trust them.  There is a level of understanding that people need to have that lets them know you are just like them.

When you ask good questions you will see what they really care about.  You’ll find out about their future dreams and goals.  You’ll find out about what they cry about or what they sing and laugh about.  To do this you must become a good listener and when the time is right you must become a good responder.

There are at least 10 things to discover about someone in order to have a better understanding of them and this is a two way street.

1. Their background
2. Their present situation or station in life
3. Their personality
4. Their spiritual gift (s)
5. Their natural abilities
6. Their dreams for the future
7. Their hurts -past and present
8. Their joys -past and present
9. Their priorities
10. Their key influencers as well as who their friends are

Remember as a leader “you must care more about who they are than what they do.” -Perry Noble. You can have good people skills and not be a good leader, but you cannot be a good leader without good people skills.

As a leader use your head to gain knowledge of people.  As a leader use your heart to demonstrate a concern for people.  As a leader use your hands to help people.  As a leader use your life to connect with people.

People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.  Everybody wants to be someone.  Everyone needs someone.  Take the time to discover the potential that others do not see in themselves and point it out to them.  Be real with people and let them into your life.

Ya Ya Sisterhood Conflict

Conflict sucks!  It just does.  Nobody likes to deal with it and yet it is always around us.  Causing us to face it, deal with it, grow from it and challenge others with it.  I remember as a kid I learned to shut people out and just not talk about it, that turned out to not be a healthy solution, who knew?  I’m learning to talk through my feelings now which feels very Ya Ya Sisterhood to me but it is critical to help avoid mass conflict.  Reading through a Perry Noble blog I came across some interesting thoughts.  Most of this is his but some of it is mine.  Enjoy.

1. The fight to keep people happy.  It’s not possible.  People will talk, complain, argue and fight.  So please HIM and not them.  The very people that you try to always make happy may actually be the very people who turn on you in the end.  Jesus never made everyone happy, I believe a group of people killed him because they were not happy with Him.  I have made a lot of people unhappy in my life.  My parents, my sibling, my wife, my kids, my boss, my friends and countless other people.  Happiness should not be our goal in life.
2. The fight to have all the answers. You don’t know it all.  You never will.  There is a reason you have a team around you.  ”Refusing to admit that you don’t know something isn’t showing your weakness…but rather revealing your pride.”  Sometimes others are not challenging authority or being unloyal, sometimes they are simply leaders, leading.  I can’t tell you how many times I have been wrong but argued my way out only to look stupid in the eyes of the other person.  I love Proverbs now more than ever because I see that those who appear to have all the answers look foolish, but those who are quiet actually come across looking wise.  I want to be known as someone who is wise.  So this is a fight that I am walking through.
3. The fight to be “well balanced.” Trust me you won’t.  Not possible.  Too much time is spent on perfecting weaknesses.  Find your strengths and spend a majority of your time on those.  There is a reason you are gifted in those areas.  Nobody is good at everything.  I can’t go up to a sound technician and tell them how to balance their mix.  They know more than me.  You sometimes have to focus only on what you are good at instead of everything.  Bring people along side of you who’s strengths are your weaknesses and as a team you will be complete.  Know what your weaknesses are and have accountability in your life to guard yourself from them.  Don’t try to balance everything.  It won’t happen.  You have to say NO to good things so you can say YES to the best things.  I have failed too many times in life on trying to balance everything.  Somebody or something will eventually fall.
4. The fight to have complete assurance that something will work out. Everything is an experiment.  We walk by FAITH and not by SIGHT.  Faith comes by HEARING the voice of God.  Not the voices of the mockers or the supporters and noot the voices in your head.  The voice of God.  Even then it takes faith.  God will show you what to do but it takes faith and faith is scary.  The key is understanding your not alone.  You will never be 100% about anything except for the security of your faith in Christ.  Even that will shake but not because of Christ, it’s because of us.

So confrontation can be messy when we try to win the fight.  It can be messy when we have an arrogance about us that we can’t be wrong or that we know more because we’ve don’t this longer.  I have been there to many times.  I always fail at confrontation and communication when:

• I don’t line up all the facts.
• When I encounter a person when I am angry.
• When I am vague about the problem.
• When I don’t get their side of the story.
• When I harbor a grudge and don’t forgive them.
• When I don’t give the other person a way out, to make it right.

All confrontations should be looking for a solution.  Sometimes the hardest person to confront is the person staring you back in the mirror.

Be You

While I was driving today I heard on the radio that Subway is now serving breakfast.  Really?  No offense to Subway but when I think of breakfast they are the last fast food industry that I think of.  I’m sure they have done marketing and research.  I’m sure they have even talked to consumers about the possibility of this endeavor.  Their build a better breakfast slogan is catchy and the food does look very good, however.  My question is this, why can’t Subway do what they are good at?  It’s the same reason why Chick-Fil-A does not make burgers or KFC does not make Tacos because they know what they are good at and they stick to it. (Yes I am aware that KFC joins together with Taco Bell and Pizza Hut)

Once again it got me thinking about us as individuals trying to be something we are not.  Maybe we are trying to be all things to all people.  Maybe we don’t even know who we are now.  As a pastor I know who I am and who I am not.

• I know I am not going to write a book that will give the world 40 days of purpose like Rick Warren.
• I know I am not going to have the fashion sense or tenacity of a Steven Furtick.
• I know I am not going to wear polo shirts and speak from a stool where every word I speak should be written in a leadership book like Andy Stanley.
• I know I am not going to be able to get away with cussing like Mark Driscoll.
• I know I am not going to sing and act out my messages like Ed Young.
• I know I am not going to smile relentlessly like Joel Olsteen.
• I know I am not going to be as deep and studied as Mark Batterson.
• I know I am not going to be as funny and raw and bold as Perry Noble.
• I know I am not going to have the faith and passion of a Francis Chan.
• I know I am not going to have the incredible voice of T.D. Jakes.
• I know I am not going to have the build or as many campuses as Craig Groeschel.
• I know I am not going to have powerful worship in my church like Brian Houston.
• I know I am not going to stand through trials like Matt Chandler.

What I do know is that I was not created to be them.  I was created to be me.  I was created to serve God to the best of my abilities.  The quicker you and I realize who we were created to be the quicker you and I will experience the life that God created us to enjoy.

So don’t be a Subway where you come across as desperate chasing the competition but do what you do and do it better than anybody else.

Unchurched Questions

There is no denying the fact that I am a huge Perry Noble fan, to me he’s the Kobe Bryant of the church world.  Love his story and what God is doing through him.  Love his approach to ministry and the creativity and innovativeness that he is surrounded by.  I love his approach to saying anything even though it may be offensive to some.  I love his passion for the local church and for people to meet Jesus without apology.  All that to say, I’m not Perry Noble.  I’ll never be Perry Noble nor would I want to be him.  I’m me.  I’m who God created me to be.  Saying that though I have learned so much from him over the last couple years as I have from so many others.  Frequently he posts something that really just gets me fired up and excited and says what I am thinking way better than I could ever write.  So here is a re-post from March 31st of a few thoughts from Perry.  He called his post: Ten Questions That Unchurched People ARE NOT Asking!

#1 – “What do you do to disciple people?”  (This question is usually asked by people who want to ‘microwave” spiritually, not understand that they themselves actually became mature in the “crock pot.”)

#2 – “Who is speaking this weekend?”  (They usually don’t care about the WHO…it’s the WHAT that matters to them.)

#3 – “Are you reformed in your theology?”  (Most of them have no idea what in the heck this means!)

#4 – “Is your church spirit filled?”

#5 – “What version of the Bible do you use?”  (Many unchurched people don’t even really know there are different versions!)

#6 – “What denomination are you affiliated with?”

#7 – “How many different activities can I sign my family up for in order to add to the insane schedule that we already have?”

#8 – “Does your pastor teach exegetically through the Scriptures?”

#9 – “Are there lots of crosses and pictures of Jesus in your church?”

#10 – “Are you guys pre trib, mid trib, post trib or partial trib?”

Great questions and just a reminder to focus on what is really important.

Change Conflict Healthcare?

I love politics and I love to debate and argue about politics or anything for that matter.  It really doesn’t even matter if I’m right because I want to convince you and we will both be wrong.  I think I have always been that way.  Even when I was on a jury I convinced all the other jurors to change their vote and vote not guilty because there was a conflict in the prosecutors case.  Just enough so that he did not follow the law to a T.  So I love to argue and debate.  This blog post is not going to be that.  Today I am simply making an observation about what I see.

They say that any decision a leader makes it will inevitably have supporters and haters.  Perry Noble said, “If everybody likes you or your idea then you’ve spent way too much time kissing rear ends instead of being faithful to who God has called you to be and what He has called you to do!” I love that and the truth is everything rises and falls on leadership.  At the end of the day the leader has to be able to make the decision and then stand behind that decision regardless of where the support or lack of support is coming.

As of today President Obama has been in office 451 days.  For the last six months I have heard people complain about where is the change?  That was the platform that he ran on, CHANGE…Yes we can.  I have seen several changes that I think are important that people are either missing or don’t want to see.   The fact that we have an African-American in office holding the most coveted position in the world is change.  The fact that there is an African-American making decisions when 55 years ago Rosa Parks did not have a choice where she could even sit on a bus, shows that this is change.  It gives me hope that in the years to come modern day slavery such as human trafficking and sex trafficking may come to and end as well.  Sometimes change comes in the still small steps that lay the foundation for future change.

With health care changing there are some that are for it and some who are against it.  Now change has occurred and the same people who complained the last 451 days about where is the change, have it and don’t like it.  I would venture to guess these same people would have complained no matter what policy took effect.  These were the same people who probably would have argued about the Emancipation Proclamation, the Constitution and the Bill of Rights. The truth is there are people who are never looking for resolve but rather are looking for a fight.

In any decision…there is Change, Conflict, Growth.  The growth may mean that what you see now doesn’t work and needs to be tweaked, overhauled or dropped completely.  It may mean that this was exactly what we needed.  I love the fact that he made A decision.  How this will work out we may not know for years.  Perry Noble posted on his blog the other day ““Christians” will scream that God is “Jehovah Rafa,” (the God who heals) in our services…but then rely on our government for healing more than Him!” I believe God is bigger than Barack Obama and everyone who sits in a position of leadership in this country and that God is not surprised about the change.  What that looks like I have no idea.  But I know that nothing great has ever gotten done in this country by simply doing nothing.

The government of the United States has been around since July 4, 1776.  That is 234 years.  The church has been around for over 2,000 years.  Spend your time investing in what matters and what will last instead of wasting it in things that won’t matter.  Control what you can control and pray and leave the rest up to God.  Change-Conflict-Growth.

Thoughts?

Online Service Options

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Leadership Choices

I am constantly looking to get better as a leader.  I have come a long way but I also know I have a long way to go.  Leading people is both a responsibility and a privilege.  Just because people follow you doesn’t mean you are a good leader, it simply may mean that they have to.  I have learned through difficult choices and circumstances what it means to lead with integrity and character and what it means to lead by abuse and the twisting of truth.  I am continually asking myself several questions: 1.  How do I want to be led?  2.  Is how I want to be led best for me or is it best for the organization and cause?  3.  Am I leading my team the best I can according to question 1 and 2?

Perry Noble did a post this morning on the 10 choices a leader needs to make in leading his staff, great post.  I would say these 10 choices don’t just apply to a church staff but to a volunteer staff in any organization as well as corporate America.  Check out what he wrote below.

#1 – Choose to believe the best about the people on your team rather than always assuming the worst about them.

#2 – Choose to trust them to make decisions that matter without having to run every minor detail by your for your approval.

#3 – Choose to believe that when they ask particular questions that they aren’t being disloyal but rather seeking clarification.

#4 – Choose to believe that they really do love the church and want to see it thrive.

#5 – Choose to lead through inspiration and revelation–NOT intimidation, humiliation, condemnation and manipulation.

You can find #6-#10 on his blog at www.perrynoble.com

What are your thoughts?  Do these apply to corporate America as well?  Do you agree, disagree?  Would you change any?  Add to any?

Four Points Of Attack – Your Motives

Awesome, awesome, awesome post by Perry Noble of New Spring Church.  How true it is.  Below is his post.

Four Points Of Attack

I’ve been reading through the Sermon on the Mount lately…and what Jesus said in Matthew 5:10-12 has really stood out…because…

As a leader in ministry we ARE going to be attacked…especially if we are having an impact in the areas in which we are planted.

This week I want to go over four areas that leaders WILL be attacked in…and deal with how to handle it.

Area #1 – Your Motives

There is no way around it…people are going to question WHY you do what you do…and the more success you see in ministry the more people will question your motives.

Let me be clear…you can’t win this fight…the only thing that you can do is consistently check your heart to make sure that you are listening to the voice of God and then doing what He says.  (We can lie to people…but we can’t lie to Him…He knows our hearts and one day our motives, if impure, will be exposed because He will NOT be mocked!  Galatians 6:7).

Reality is this…most people who question your motives don’t have a freakin clue where you came from.  They don’t know the crap you’ve put up with, the sleepless nights you’ve gone through and the personal sacrifices you’ve made to get to where you are.  AND…

You CAN’T waste your time explaining those things to them because—THEN they accuse you of pride (an accusation you can’t really defend…because if you say you are not then you lose!)

You just need to ask yourself the following questions when it comes to why you do what you do?

• Am I allowing Jesus or my personal desires to shape my motives?
• Is this desire in me a passion that will enlarge His Kingdom…or a cool idea that will allow me to become more popular?
• Are my motives being shaped as I study the Scriptures…or does God’s Word conflict with what I want?
• Are the godly people the Lord has placed in my life rebuking me or affirming me?
• Am I doing what I do because I love Jesus and people…or because I love myself and see all of the personal gain I can achieve out of this?
• Am I doing this for attention from others or AFFIRMATION from my heavenly Father?  (Matthew 3:17)

People questioning our motives can drive us crazy…that is why we must allow the voice of Jesus to shape us rather than the people who don’t have a clue as to why we are doing what we are doing.

Always crucial for us to check our motives no matter what level of leadership we are in.

Catalyst West 6 of 6: Perry Noble

Over the next couple blogs you will see quotes done by those who spoke at Catalyst West in LA over this last week.  Each of these guys are leaders in their field and have the ability to shape us with their quotes.  Just remember we were not there so some quotes are incomplete and we don’t know the context in which they were made.

• 8:38 PM tonymorganlive - Perry started talking about the other speakers. It was funny. You missed it.
• 8:40 PM tonymorganlive - “On the third situp I parted her hair.”
• 8:42 PM tonymorganlive - “Hey man, have you seen my Twitter?”
• 8:43 PM tonymorganlive - “The size of the vision God will give me is directly related to the amount of pain and discomfort I’m willing to endure.”
• 8:45 PM tonymorganlive - “The reason we experience pain is to understand his provision.”
• 8:46 PM tonymorganlive - “Trust him.”
• 8:48 PM tonymorganlive - “If you’ve been called to ministry, God’s hand is on you.”
• 8:50 PM tonymorganlive - “If you walked up to me and said ‘I like you but your wife is ugly,’ I’d punch you in the throat.”
• 8:51 PM tonymorganlive - (Perry just did his TV evangelist impersonation.)
• 8:52 PM tonymorganlive - “God said, ‘I don’t like those people either, Perry.’”
• 8:52 PM tonymorganlive - “I got to go to my first deacons meeting.”
• 8:53 PM tonymorganlive - “Dryness will always lead to desperation.”
• 8:54 PM tonymorganlive - “The Savior is trying to teach you and me who he is.”
• 8:57 PM tonymorganlive - “I don’t want to preach nice sermons.”
• 8:57 PM tonymorganlive - “Believe him.”
• 9:01 PM tonymorganlive - “God said, ‘I need you to feel what I feel, so you can do what I need you to do.’”
• 9:03 PM tonymorganlive - “Why do leaders run from big vision from God?”
• 9:03 PM tonymorganlive - “Leaders, we don’t have a hard time teaching on the sovereignty of God. We just have a hard time believing it.”
• 9:04 PM tonymorganlive - “There are people who are obsessed with discovery rather than development.”
• 9:05 PM tonymorganlive - “You feel stuck because you’re not ready for the next level.”
• 9:05 PM tonymorganlive - “Leadership is as easy as listening to God.”
• 9:06 PM tonymorganlive - “We don’t know what we’re doing?”
• 9:06 PM tonymorganlive - “Moses didn’t have a 40-year strategic plan.”
• 9:07 PM tonymorganlive - “God led Moses one step at a time.”
• 9:08 PM tonymorganlive - “If we got more concerned with repentance rather than attendance, revival would sweep our nation.”
• 9:08 PM tonymorganlive - “If you haven’t had a sleepless night about vision, you haven’t heard from God.”
• 9:08 PM tonymorganlive - “Cheese biscuits bring you closer to God.”
• 9:09 PM tonymorganlive - “What would you be willing to attempt for God if you knew you couldn’t fail?”
• 9:10 PM tonymorganlive - “Only when we surrender do we experience the supernatural.”
• 9:10 PM tonymorganlive - “I believe that God still heals people.”
• 9:10 PM tonymorganlive - “I dropped out of cemetary. I didn’t even finish.”
• 9:13 PM tonymorganlive - “We just consistently obeyed Jesus and, when we were ready for it, he blew our freakin’ minds.”
• 9:13 PM tonymorganlive - “We’re the church that’s known as the place where the ’sinners’ go.”
• 9:14 PM tonymorganlive - “The kid said, ‘I want to go back to the damn church.’ I said, ‘Get his name because he’s going to be on staff someday.’”
• 9:15 PM tonymorganlive - “Do you believe God has spoken a vision into your life?”
• 9:15 PM tonymorganlive - “Honor him.”
• 9:15 PM tonymorganlive - “Finish what you started.”
• 9:18 PM tonymorganlive - “She just stood there waiting for something to happen.”
• 9:18 PM tonymorganlive - “Don’t give up.”
• 9:20 PM tonymorganlive - “Don’t you dare give up on the God that’s never given up on you.”

Isims

* “No one wants to sign up at the ‘go to hell’ table.”
* “You don’t have to be good to get into Heaven – you have to be perfect.”
* “The bad guy deserves to die. Here’s the problem – we’re the bad guy.”
* “If life were perfect, it wouldn’t be life; it would be heaven.”
* “We’re talking about Jesus. He’s pretty important. He was dead, and now he’s alive. I’m going to listen to that guy.”
* “Jesus said, ‘If you put me first, I’ll take care of everything else.’”
* “We don’t have a problem recommending a restaurant, but we do have a problem recommending a Savior.”
* “Hell is real. And people that don’t know Jesus go there.”
* “Most Christians are willing to do something for Jesus as long as it doesn’t cost them anything.”
* “I had allowed spending time with God to be replaced by spending time doing things for God.”
* “There are no perfect churches to serve in, no perfect pastors to work for, and no perfect environments.”
* “An unguarded strength can become your greatest weakness.”
* “You should design your ministry around your family values.”
* “How do you get people to give? You have to preach on it. Only the people who aren’t giving will leave.”
* “Everyone here can look at another church and call the change they need to make. But can you do that for your church?”
* “Fear of criticism is a powerful deterrent because the criticism doesn’t actually have to occur for the fear to set in.”
* “If a leader isn’t forward-looking the organization they lead will expend tremendous amounts of sideways energy.”
* “Do you have a burden??? Do you have a opportunity to communicate that burden??? By definition that is a ‘calling’… Respond?”
* “Hell begins the day that God grants you the vision to see all that you could have, should have, and would have done, but did not do.”

All quotes from: Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe, Brad Cooper, Mark Batterson, Earl Henslin, Seth Godin, Wayne Cordeiro, Craig Groeschel, Bill Hybels, Perry Noble, Tony Morgan

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